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HEADLINE NEWS
Farm Town overrun by Gangsters
FARM TOWN - Thousands of virtual farmers who plow, plant, and harvest in the Facebook online world of Farm Town were unexpectedly besieged by gangsters and wise guys from the online game Mafia Wars. Initial damage estimates run as high as 6 billion coins from ruined crops and damaged buildings. In addition, 23 avatars are confirmed dead and hundreds more wounded or missing.
The attack began around 9 p.m. on an otherwise quiet night in Farm Town. At first, the game slowed down and quit working, which is a regular occurrence according to Facebook users. Mr. Greenjeans, a highly successful Farm Town agribusinessman, said, "I was out in the fields plowing, minding my own business, when everything stopped, and then suddenly there was an avatar in a black suit wearing sunglasses standing in my field. He demanded I pay him "protection" coins. I thought it was a joke, but he grabbed my harvest sickle icon and chopped the head off my virtual dog. I've never seen so much virtual blood in my life. Poor Benji."
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Avatars at one of Farm Town's many market places were
surprised when a gang of mafia types appeared and demanded money. Virtual farmer Earl Butz
said, "I had come to sell my corn, which I had planted fence row to fence row, when
these thugs showed up. We organized to fight back with pitch forks and hoes, but one of
the gangsters opened a violin case, pulled out a tommy gun, and opened fire. It was a
massacre. I dived for cover behind a nearby avatar." According to Facebook officials, 6 avatars were killed and 18 wounded at the St. Valentine marketplace. The wounded avatars were rushed to the still being developed virtual E.R. game. Most, however, were turned away because they didn't have virtual health insurance. Oliver Douglas was sitting on the front porch of his house at his Green Acres farm, when two wise guys came up the sidewalk. "'Evening,' I said," related Douglas. "How 'bout a nice cold lemonade from my virtual lemonade stand." Red in the face from anger, Mr. Douglas continued, "The bastards knocked over my lemonade stand. Damnit, those things aren't cheap!" |
That was just the beginning of Mr. Douglas' troubles. "Arnold the pig came over to see what the ruckus was, and they stuck him with a switchblade. Stuck like a pig. Boy, the Ziffels will be mad." Douglas then recounted how when his farmhand Eb came to help, the gangsters hog-tied him, took him behind the barn, and made him squeal with the sound of dueling banjoes in the background. "When that happened," said Mr. Douglas, "I went in the house, packed my bags, grabbed my wife, and moved back to SimCity."
A spokesperson for Facebook said the invasion of Farm Town was the result of a software glitch that caused the two games to overlap. "We apologize for the incident and will bring in emergency avatars to help rebuild damaged farms. To the families of avatars killed by the criminal attack, we offer our deepest sympathies, but until we have fully developed our new game, Resurrectionville, Facebook users will have to create new avatars to replace the deceased."
Mafia Wars gamers seemed to have no regrets over the violent incursion into the pastoral world of Farm Town. "That was the most fun ever," said Mafia leader Don Deluise. "The best part was putting the horse's head in the bed of one of the country bumpkins." Deluise continued, "Right now, we are drawing up plans to invade the Fish World game, cause we like making avatars swim with da fishes."