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MUD FLATS, GEORGIA - Responding to charges by former President Jimmy Carter that racism is behind the unrelenting and vicious attacks on President Obama, the head of Citizens for No Reform, Never, No Way, Karl Kevin Klunkhammer claims that Carter is the real racist. In an interview with NBC, Carter had said that many whites don't believe an African-American can lead the United States. "It’s an abominable circumstance," said the former president.
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Klunkhammer, whose organization is known for its
protests that use gimmicky props like burning crosses and nooses, denies that racism is
the driving force behind his group. "There's not a racist bone in my body," said
the white robed leader, paraphrasing the son of Congressman 'You lie' Joe Wilson.
"Hell," said Karl, "I love watermelon and fried chicken. Would a racist eat
that food?" Continuing in his attack on the former president, Klunkhammer said, "If anyone is a racist, it's Carter. He hates white people." As evidence of his accusation, Klunkhammer cited the fact Carter refused to join the White Businessman's Council that supported segregation back in the 1950's. "Further," said Karl, "Carter always ran against white people. Name once when Carter opposed a colored in an election." "Enough is enough," shouted Klunkhammer as he banged his instrument on the table. Karl's family manufactures Klunkhammer Dulcimers. "This so-called peanut farmer is just plain nuts," laughed the activist leader for twenty minutes. "Who says we don't have a sense of humor. Why just last week Jim Bob said the funniest thing while we were lynching this . . . um . . . never mind." |
The interview with Klunkhammer was cut short as he had to put shoe polish on his face for that evening's minstrel show, Darn That Cotton Pickin' President. Karl was noticeably nervous about the upcoming performance that features a new number called, Say it again, Joe Wilson! Former President Carter could not be reached for comment. The Carter Center said he was in Africa fighting river blindness, while at the same time building homes for the poor and monitoring elections. Later in the day he had plans for bringing peace to the Middle East.
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