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HEADLINE NEWS
Blue Dog Democrat adopted from local Animal Shelter
ARLINGTON VA. - The Northern Virginia Humane Society announced it has found a home for one of the many Blue Dog Democrats that roam the greater Washington D.C. area. The Blue Dog coalition is a group of 52 moderate and conservative Democrats who serve in the U.S. House of Representatives. Former Texas Democrat Rep. Pete Geren is credited for collaring the term in the 1990's, explaining the members had been "choked blue" by "extreme" Democrats from the left.
According to Humane Society spokesperson, Kitty Dogfart, the Blue Dog Democrat was found by police in an alley, hiding behind a dumpster. Police say the Blue Dog Democrat told them he was "looking for political cover." Officers took the frightened and disoriented Blue Dog Democrat to the local Humane Society Shelter.
Dogfart said that in accordance with Humane Society policies, the Blue Dog Democrat was given a bath, checked for fleas, and de-wormed. "It's amazing how often we find little parasites that look like Rush Limbaugh in the stool of the Blue Dogs," related Dogfart. "It seems to affect their intestinal fortitude."
"Before beginning the actual adoption process," explained Dogfart, "we go through an observation period to determine the emotional health of the Blue Dog Democrat. The last thing we want is an unstable Congressperson in a home with little children."
| While Humane Society policies forbid disclosing details about those who
adopt Blue Dog Democrats, Ms. Dogfart did say the new owner is the man with the Yellow
Hat, carrying a Green Tamborine, and is known for progressive thinking and liberal
politics. "We try to find homes that will bring the Blue Dogs back into the center of
the Democratic Party. Most would like to be real Democrats, but cower and whimper at the
thought of criticism from constituents. If you just say the words, "public
option," they run and hide." While finding Blue Dog Democrats good homes can be a challenge, according to Kitty Dogfart there is an upside. She explained, "The great thing about adopting out a Blue Dog Democrat is they're already neutered when we get them . . . at least I've never seen a Blue Dog Democrat with balls."
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