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HEADLINE NEWS |
WASHINGTON D.C. - Fights broke out in the nation's capitol as Tea Party activists gathered to protest every aspect of President Obama's policies and very existence on Earth. Police had to break up several of the scuffles, which were between protesters competing to see who hates Obama the most. Some minor injuries were reported, but mostly just hurt feelings.
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One arrest did occur when a teabagger mocked the sign
of another protester, saying, according to witnesses, "A picture of Obama with a
Hitler mustache. Is that the best you can do? I've got a picture of Obama as the Beast
from the book of Revelation having sex with three underage white girls." Shortly
after unveiling his sign, the gentleman was surrounded by police, arrested, and charged
with child pornography. Pushing and shoving erupted in some areas. Cries of "I hate Obama more than you," filled the air. A passer-by named Rodney King tried to quell the fights by pleading, "Why can't we all just get along?" When it was noticed that he was a person of color, the crowd turned on him because of the general, vague similarity to President Obama. As King lay on the ground absorbing kicks and punches, he was heard to moan, "Oh no, not again." Police quickly moved in and took over the beating. |
Despite the intensity, anger, and violence associated with the protest, there were a few humorous moments, most notably when one protester shouted out, "Yo mama is so fat she couldn't even fit on the ballot!" When it was pointed out to the confused young man that they were protesting "Obama," not "YoMama," everyone had a good laugh. By the end of the day, competition between the protesters quieted down into a mutual respect for their common ability to hate Obama more than life itself. The rally ended with tea and crumpets being served by the Mad Hatter and Dick Cheney. The White Rabbit left early for the airport to catch a flight on Jefferson Airplane.
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